Some of the challenging moments for a collared slave, although it might seem absurd, are those of inactivity. Yes, exactly. I mean when the Mistress doesn't give you orders or tasks - and there are these moments, for a thousand reasons, it's normal - and you remain owned and so you have to avoid having fun alone (at least not without communicating it first) or taking initiatives. However, in a regime of chastity and therefore with sexual arousal always high day after day, it is not easy. Especially if you then take a look on social media. But I'm sure it's one of those things that the slave has to learn over time.
You simply have to stay in your place, patient, waiting.
I'm lucky, perhaps: I'm not, even when uncollared, one of those who enjoy themselves alone with dildos, butt plugs or other sexual games. When I do it, I do it for someone else's will or pleasure.
This doesn't mean that you can't try to dare or that you have to remain without doing anything. Now, for example, I thought about buying a new dress for myself, as a gift for the Mistress, Who has only known me for a short time. Even if She didn't ask me, I would like to surprise Her, buy something especially for Her: a dress I've never worn, like the one from the first date. Something simple, because I don't know the style She will want for Her Birdy.
Take care of myself, get ready and dress well and take a nice photo to send to Her. So I made use of my idle time today.
The Mistress liked my video presentation! But above all, and this is what pleased me most, my commitment to the task was appreciated. I think that every task, even the one that seems simplest or most insignificant, must be returned to the Mistress so that it is worth using Her time, and is not just the satisfaction of a need of the slave.
We are the instrument of Her entertainment, not vice versa! It took me a long time to understand this, I will always thank those who taught me and made me understand.
Unexpected, really, the prize also arrived for me. I am granted a cum! On the "only" condition of using 2 fingers and not the entire hand, because what cannot be called a penis does not need a hand. And there's nothing to stroke at the end of the day.
Wow! It's certainly not a bad surprise, and between the excitement accumulated in recent days and the video that the Mistress sent me, the desire now is great. But no running to the bathroom to masturbate. I'm Birdy, I'm a girl. And I would like to be a good girl, and do it in a prepared way and with a certain style.
After asking permission to avoid hand contact with my clitty and use the magic wand instead, I started to prepare myself. Personal collar and necklace with the Mistress' name of course, first of all. Then nice roomy women's panties to keep the clitty at bay. Finally pink and black fishnet lingerie, because I didn't want to be all naked. Kneel position with legs slightly open, always on the open boxes on the ground. One hand behind my back, the other holding magic wand.
I restarted the video of my Mistress on my laptop, to feel Her presence in front of me.
Then I pointed a camera at myself and start recording, in case the Mistress is interested in seeing this moment.
Let's start. OMG, definitely short moment. Maybe less than a minute of vibrating the magic wand and I've already released. What a shame. I feel the drops of cum run through my underwear, and drip onto the cardboard.
The refractory period takes over, along with a sense of guilt. I enjoyed it, yes, but I feel selfish. I need to analyze this feeling better.
The first private meeting with the Mistress took place thanks to a task. "Make me a video, without your face, with My name written on your chest saying you are my collectable & your happy to be part of my collection, than tell me why".
As an aspiring content creator, what better request? I thought a lot about how to make it.
I chose the Nadu position, which indicates the slave's willingness to serve. In this position, the slave knees back on her heels maintaining an excellent posture with her back straight, shoulders thrown back, her head up, her breasts thrust forward, her belly in and with her legs wide open.
On the floor there are open paper boxes, which recall the simplicity of myself at the beginning of the journey, before the transformation that will take place thanks to the Mistress. Around my neck the pink collar with my name, Birdy. The Mistress' initials hang on a black necklace. On my chest, as requested, I previously wrote the Mistress' name with a red marker. Red writing like the red heart bodysuit, with butt flap and long sleeves. In the first meeting, as nudity was not requested, I preferred to leave few parts of the body uncovered. For this reason I also wore black nipple covers. Fishnet stockings, but no shoes. Always for a theme of simplicity.
I'm ready to record. It's the first time I've recorded my voice. The camera at the Mistress's height, looking at me from top to bottom.
"I'm your collectable and I'm happy to be apart of Your collection, because of Your style and experience. The attention and caring You give to those who rely on You are truly priceless. Mistress, I am in Your hands, ready to become what You wish me to become."
Didn't I say that the Mistress is beautiful? No, although of course She is. She is very beautiful. But I assumed that was not the main motivation to be part of Her collection. It's not just Her beauty that struck me among the many Mistresses... but Her style and elegance.
I see abstinence from masturbation (and cumshots) as a gesture of absolute respect towards the role of the Mistress, a necessary act. By placing myself in the hands of a dominant mind, my physical pleasure no longer has to be under my control. Whether it is masturbation or another type of pleasure, it must come after the needs, desires, entertainment and pleasures of the Mistress.
Of course, abstinence is hard, it is not easy to resist instincts. Especially in the first few days, hornyness is through the roof. I touch my clitty and with great difficulty I try not to continue with masturbation. The resistance has strengthened over time: the first times, 6 or 7 years ago now, I admit I fell into temptation.
The chastity belt is supposed to guarantee the absence of erection, but it is not always compatible with vanilla life. But when the conditions are right to wear it, it is an absolute pleasure to do so, in agreement with the Mistress of course. The cage in my underwear (feminine of course), while I'm at work for example, physically reminds me of the priceless bond you have with the Mistress who owns you.
When the conditions for putting the cage are not there, the relationship of trust must be sufficient to guarantee chastity. There should be no doubt about the correctness of the slave.
And the cumshot? When the Mistress decides it's time, it finally arrives. Memorable moments. I like to do it not by hand masturbation - stroking your cock means having one, but that's not my case - but by stimulating the clitty, with or without the help of a vibrator. Maybe directly inside the cage to avoid an erection.
I remember an incredible cumshot that I have already recounted in this diary, which arrived after weeks of abstinence and a body writing humiliation session, directly inside the cage and thanks to a magic wand, such that it literally made my knees tremble.
I have never cared about the length of my penis. It's never been an issue in my vanilla sex. Sure, I knew it was maybe a little below average, but I've never done any measurements or comparisons. So far.
Although there is a lot on offer, I have never even had my clitty reviewed when I was uncollared. But when yesterday the Mistress proposed to issue a "sissy card" to be published on social media, I gladly accepted. The desire to be exposed is part of my exhibitionist nature.
So I sent "a picture of my clitty next to a ruler or if you don't have one then next to an object like a lighter, something easy to know the size". And then I waited for the response.
Well, I found out that it barely goes to 2 inches. Much worse than I would have expected. Mine is now the second smallest clitty on Hall of Shame of the Mistress who owns me.
What a shame. I have officially added SPH to the list of practices that are right for me. And I have a Sissy ID Card.
In times when I am owned and it happens, like now, that I "need permission to cum & what to cum too", it's not nice to ask or beg your Mistress to cum. I think it's offensive to the Mistress, who certainly takes it into account and knows what She's doing.
You have to focus on something else. In the past, a Mistress of whom I have wonderful memories suggested that in these cases I should focus and convert my instincts on content creation.
So today I dug out a recording from many months ago. Blindfolded, with a caged clitty and a cock gag in the mouth. And a pussy welcoming a butt plug.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea to edit the footage, so much sexual excitement watching those scenes.
A slave may pretend that he wants to be "everyone's slave", but in the end he ends up back there. To a Mistress. Not being able to continue too long without being owned. Day after day. Waiting for signs of attention, fearing answers, not knowing what to expect. Making daily sense of being submissive. Sharing goals maybe.
I've been owned again. Finally. I hope I'm up to it, as always.
How do you recognize a slave who hasn't been owned for a while? From the length of the pubic hair. This is also my case.
A new beginning begins with a good shave and cleaning down there, because it is not respectful for the Mistress to have pubic hair.
And then you find yourself washing in the shower and teasing yourself with soap and water jet, because, obviously, you are not allowed to masturbate at will.
One of the first times Playing with my small and dainty chastity cage... Worn for the first time! With the effort and courage it took to wear it - it's so small... - it was so exciting to see it on.
The scary little cage Today I pulled out of the drawer a chastity cage that I had been there for some time, I think more than 6 months. To be honest I never had the courage to wear it, the ring cannot be opened and I was afraid that once it was lodged in the base of the penis it would never come out. But today I took courage, I am satisfied. I've had the cage up for about 2 hours. All in all it is quite comfortable - of course, I have not tried to put on jeans but in the panties it fits comfortably... sure, the solo action is not fun, I have no one who degrades me for this situation, but I can share here some pictures! And later some videos too...
Today I started (again...) to measure the "performance" of my little hole, certainly not trained now. Today I held the 1.61 inch (41 mm) plug in the photo for about an hour. Well lubricated, it went well! No particular pain. Lying on his side and well relaxed, I would say he entered well!
I realized that I have written little about degradation. Yes, I like to entertain like that. The phrase "you look so fucking pathetic" (see video from a few years ago) I would hear it in loop for hours and hours...
Title: "The beauty and the beast" (#3) Spoiler: there is room to play with me for new content ;-)
On the left, me trying to be feminine On the right, my "let’s play" partner in all her real beauty
It is one of the games that I enjoy the most with virtual friends. I like to commit myself to being feminine and learn to do it better and better, thanks also to experiences with female minds, dominant and not!
About a year ago I returned from a "unwanted break" from BDSM with a great desire to be fucked and exposed. But thanks to a strong lesson that a Mistress gave me, I held back, I didn't try to improvise as a "community whore" but I didn't do anything impulsive that could affect my path of re-education as a possessed slave. She suggested me (and helped) to open social profiles to give vent to my exhibitionism and impulses, focusing on a broader "project". This is why I'm here.
Here are my tails :-) Dog, rabbit, horse... depending on Her wishes it is a pleasure to wear them to entertain a Dominant Mind. As already written, the doggie one is the one whose plug fits less well inside me, but the others certainly do not come out of the little hole once worn.
Title: "The beauty and the beast" (#2) Spoiler: there is room to play with me for new content ;-)
On the left, me trying to be feminine On the right, my "let’s play" partner in all her real beauty
It is one of the games that I enjoy the most with virtual friends. I like to commit myself to being feminine and learn to do it better and better, thanks also to experiences with female minds, dominant and not!
Excited like when you wait to open Santa's presents, I immediately opened the package and tried my new doggy tail 😄 Compared to other tail plugs I have, this plug isn't very wide... I have to get used to it more calmly.
Like many, I love lower back tattoos. In all honesty, when I learned about the negative meaning they have in terms of promiscuity, considering my desire to become a little slut, I have several times procured temporary "tramp stamps". It excites me so much to see myself with those stamps on my back...
When I am asked to show myself for the first time in a submissive way, even virtually through a photo, I always think of the Nadu position. I kneels before a Goddess, head held high, eyes downcast, knees spread wide open, shoulders back keeping my back arched slightly, breasts thrust outward. My hands lie on my thighs, palms facing upward. Of course all naked and shaved, but without showing the genitals until I am asked. Anxiety and emotion grow, waiting to know what the dominant mind will think and say.
What's exciting about a middle finger? Maybe not too much, at least as far as I'm concerned. But if it comes unexpected... In one of the videos, here is an unexpected one from the other side of the world.
In my career as a slave, I only found a lot of branding requests in the very first few years, more than ten years ago. I'm talking about temporary branding, not definitive like permanent tattoos or more extreme and painful ways. Now I am rarely asked to write the Mistress's name on a part of the body, or a degrading phrase. Some time ago Mistress Bunny, who is now no longer my Mistress, asked me to write sentences on my back, and I did it using some sheets to put in the printer to create temporary tattoos. Looking at the tattoos in these photos makes me really feel like a slut serving her Domme.
Waxing time! What can I say... the warm wax spread all over the body between one strip and the next is so relaxing! It seems easy to say now, but my feminization, a practice I started thanks to a Mistress who tried to take me beyond some of my limits, was for some time without getting to the complete depilation of the body.
The beauty and the beast (#1) Spoiler: there is room to play with me for new content 😉
On the left, me pretending to be feminine On the right, my "let’s play" partner in all her real beauty
It is one of the games that I enjoy the most with virtual friends. I like to commit myself to being feminine and learn to do it better and better, thanks also to experiences with female minds, dominant and not!
My obsession: "The Anal Hook" (# 1) Suggestion: there is room to play together for new content 😉
This is the announcement "please hook me" that sometimes I publish on some social channels and in this post a video what can result.
"I'd prefer to know that you are on cam but not to see you, to feel more humiliated. I'll be on all fours, ass towards the cam. I'll use the phone to send the tribute. I won' t have a mic, feel free to speak if you want, to humiliate me or whatever. Recording or photos allowed! "
I try to ask myself why it is so exciting to be hooked. As physical sensations, I like to feel the cold ball that enters the hole and then lies down, held by the steel hook that can regulate the speed of penetration. But the psychological sensation is the strongest. If a collar binds you to something external, the ball of the hook literally enters you, and when the hook is pulled towards the back you feel a feeling of belonging in my opinion priceless.
One of the things I just can't do is playing alone. I feel the need for someone to look at me while I simply play with a sex toy or humiliate myself in some way or when I dress in women's clothes. I like to say and think that this is because first of all I want the dominant mind to have fun humiliating me and not (only) myself... but maybe I'm just an exhibitionist... I hope not. I remember when I got the anal hook from Amazon a few years ago - a tool that I find very exciting for many reasons - I could not wait to feel the new sensation, but I resisted not trying it alone, even if honestly I was also tempted to do it in a public bathroom. In the video when I first used it on Skype, with a Person who had never seen an anal hook before. I certainly satisfied his curiosity. In the post also the screenshot with the request in chat before the video call on Skype.
