In my morning practice I journal each day about what is curr..

In my morning practice I journal each day about what is currently on my mind, bothering me, etc. I enjoy sharing the many parts of my being here so I thought I'd share my journal entry today as I am sure its something we all struggle with. If you aren't interested in this kind of thing feel free to just enjoy the photo. Journal entry 12/20/21 During very social times like the holidays I sometimes find myself feeling anxious about the interactions I am having with people. I find thoughts creeping in and making me wonder if I am coming across well, if I am "to much", if I need to hold back more, if shouldn't of said that etc. While there can be an importance in discernment when talking to certain people I still always want to be the most authentic version of myself I can be in any moment. Something I have struggled with in the past is being a "people pleaser", which I have found can lead to me saying and acting in ways to appease someone. The funny thing is is that I've realized the people in my life more than anything want me to be me and express myself authentically. Morphing myself to fit what I think someone else wants comes with a lot of assumptions that may be incorrect anyways and it never feels right. I come out of those interactions feeling icky. Though I had this realization years ago some old habits will still come up where I notice I am shrinking myself to fit an assumption I have about someone I am interacting with. The best remedy I have found to combating this is through self love. Loving myself and acting and speaking from a place that feels aligned is the best thing I can do. I let go of the rest. If someone doesn't like me, that's okay. We can't be everyone's cup of tea but being the "cup of tea" that we are feels so much better and its so freeing. The best we can do is come with good intentions, kindness, an open heart and let the rest go. If people don't get you, judge you, it's okay. So many of us are acting and judging others from our own wounds that have nothing to do with the person who is being judged. In fact I think the reason so many people have a negative reaction to sexuality and sex work is from their own sexual repression and wounds. The things we deny and shame ourselves for are the things that upset us most when we see it expressed openly in another. Your reactions and judgements can be a great mirror into what is not healed and repressed within you. Peoples reactions and judgements towards you say more about themselves than you. Its so much easier to forgive and unconditionally love when you see we are all looking through scratched lenses that just need some attending to. I never want to act a certain way out of insecurity or morphing myself to please. I trust that those who are meant to be in my life will be in my life. In fact the more "me" I am the more I enjoy the people I attract into my life because we authentically align. It's beautiful really <3