Added 2024-05-29 15:48:47 +0000 UTC
I having a constant panic attack because one person hurts me enough to make my dysphoria uncontrollable. Today a work day but my head is filled with thoughts that distract me very painfully. It gives me severe pain inside of hopelessness, desperation, depression that I have from dysphoria that just killing me. I look at the mirror I had dysphoria. I look on the art and some messages and I've got dysphoria too. I can't work because of that, I can't rest my mind, I'm angry.I don't know how should I save up that much money. It gives me pain of unfair. I've just started a new job and worried about how long I gonna work for them and try to save money but I looks impossible. I had one friend but I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to talk and see her. I wish we can be close friend, I like her but I got hit by tabu words that unfortunately change my relationship. This hurts twice. Why you did this to me. I'm feel sad and depressed. I'm not sure if I have enough time left to get this surgery this time. I wish I can lose memory and I don't need to worry about future and dreams anymore. I'm too old anyways haha and life is a joke and I am a clown. Sorry. ☂️Fox blog
