When I was happy and horny to masturbate like everyday lol -..

When I was happy and horny to masturbate like everyday lol - tip $5 or more if you want me to be happy and overcome my depression 😳

I think feeling sexy/horny is a lot dependent on happiness; sometimes filming sex stuff/masturbating helps me to get out of a mentally sad place as a small fix to be a bit more dopamine filled !!! but my problem is getting the energy to do it if I feel physically impaired. That's why I joke often that I have two moods: sad and horny. It really be like that. My sex content has to be organic or I just won't bother filming. If I'm not having a good time, you won't either. I feel so-so lately. A bit happy, a bit bummed.

Fake it till you make it so I've been trying to post content with positive energy/exude an air of friendliness and sexy happiness, instead of my usually emo depressed self cuz no one wants to see that. But sometimes it's inevitable I'm sorry this all sounds so unsexy!! 😣

Do you remember when I posted about my medical procedure earlier this month? Yesterday I received my results at the follow up appointment and got diagnosed with a rare stomach paralysis condition. Essentially my stomach muscles are dead and can only take in certain amounts/food types before they shut down. This accounts for a lot of the nausea I feel, chronic stomach pains, and digestive issues. It's related to immune system and nervous system diseases -- I am wondering if any of you have an experiences with this kind of thing? I hope not but if u have anything pls share if u feel comfortable. I'm really happy that they didn't find any cancerous or immediately life-threatening things cause I know with endoscopy/coloscopies they screen primarily for signs of that, but it's still a bummer. A whole lifestyle overhaul/rebuild that I've trying to implement will continue to happen, in a different way now that's more careful + mindful of my health, and that's also why I've been a little slower on OF the past month or so cause I've not felt so well, and taken time when I can to focus on healing and regaining my energy. Burnout is just one factor, that can be remedied with resting; the health issues are something else that I have no control over.

I've also been having electrical issues at my place and the building management/maintenance has been extremely shoddy and in a few cases rude to me. As a tenant they should be listening to my needs and I've had no AC in 90 degree LA heat for over a week now. It's been really stressful and I'm having a hard time putting together a positive face. This has not been a good month for me.

Still, I hope you are enjoying the content I post, I am trying my best for you to be a good creator 😘 (even if I'm not a machine and sometimes life circumstances hinder my ability to work). Thank you immensely to those of you who've liked, tipped, requested customs that I loved filming, gifted me wishlist stufffs etc cause da little little things add up and the support is just lovely especially in a blahh time <3 💗🥺

Hopefully by the end of the month I'll compile some videos for you and have a new campaign or some sexiiii September ppvs that are cheaper than what I normally send but with still my amazing quality! <3 🌶 This has been my worst OF month since literally 2020 and I tend to internalize it as being my fault, sucking as a creator, and being useless. I'll try to go easy on myself and have fun making content I enjoy even if my subscribers continue to leave; I fully understand that parasocial porn is not a life necessity but it makes me so sad watching my numbers drop :( Hey if you're still here thank you so much for loving my pageee!!! Ur a real one 💗 It’s weird, even tho a lot of shit sucks, I don’t wanna let myself get too down about it. Is that what they call progress?

I hope whatever may be happening in ur life, everyone is doing well ☺️💝 Stay happy and healthy and hornii, much love xxxxxxxx