They say when you have a heart attack your left arm will hur..

They say when you have a heart attack your left arm will hurt, what they don’t tell you, is that if you slept on your left arm wrong the night prior then there is almost no way of knowing. Heart attacks and anxiety attacks paired with bad sleep posture apparently feel exactly the same. Who would have thought? That being said, the visit to my cardiologist yesterday didn’t go as planned. 😂😂 Long story short, I was originally told I’d be given about a year or more before I needed open heart surgery but apparently that was wishful thinking and I will actually need it this week. Honestly you guys are fucking amazing and I’m sure if I lean on you instead of trying to do it all solo, then we can actually pull this off and make it happen. What’s also exciting (for you guys) is that if we can hit goal, I’ll finally be able to automate video uploads everywhere and that includes older ones from the vault featuring CNinja, various models and pornstars, you name it. It’s cool because it honestly almost forces me to get my shit together if I want to stay alive and I then get to receive the medical care and treatment I need! Which I guess may sound dark but I’m focusing on the positive and honestly I am happy about it. Been needing to do this for some time so it’s fine, not something to be depressed about, this can be a good thing. This goal is to basically help get things started, cover copays, pets care, transportation, help with rent and health insurance and some time off during the initial surgery. I was told I may in the hospital anywhere from 1-2+ months after the surgery so I want to try and raise enough to at least be able to cover my rent and pet care during that time while I’m in hospital. I did a bunch of CT scans earlier today and hoping I don’t have to be in the hospital that long but I won’t find out till the cardiac surgeon reviews everything fully and don’t want to count on less time than they like initially quoted. A date has not been set yet but they’re pushing me to get it done next Monday-Tuesday or sooner if I can. My thought is let’s hit this goal, I’ll see what I can do about getting things automated before then and get my affairs in order and then fuck it, time to finally get fixed. Let’s fucking do this SmartyTeam. THE CRUNCH IN ONNNN It’s gunna be hard work but I’m confident if we all come together I can finally get the surgery and sooner that’s done the sooner I can heal and get back to regular shooting!!! Really fucking excited and almost relieved to some extent that they want to get this taken care of soon. Not fun feeling how my Halloween costumes look every year. 😂😂😂😂🤷‍♀️